I relate to this a lot. For me, spirituality has become more about quiet moments than structure — even just taking a few minutes to reflect or express gratitude helps me feel grounded. I’m not always consistent either, but I’ve noticed that when I intentionally slow down, even briefly, it makes a difference in how balanced I feel.

That makes so much sense. I’m starting to feel that spirituality doesn’t always need to look structured — just intentional. Thanks for sharing that perspective.

I think that the more struggles people have in life, they are more inclined to turn to spirituality for answers. I do not confuse relaxation with spirituality, however. Relaxing, for me, does not amount to spirituality. For me spirituality is how I live my life, and the appreciation I have, or lack thereof, for all things I do and things that come my way.

It is disciplined, in the sense that there are certain activities and ideas that bring harm to ‘good’ spirit – and I avoid those things. I see spirituality as being our ability to determine good spirit from bad spirit. All lower-base realities; revenge, harm, jealousy, regret, anger, hate – those are lower-base realities, and we know they are from the lower realms because they bring us discomfort and pain.

In the higher realities there is love, joy, motivation, inspiration, connection, compassion – those are the higher realms of spirit.

And so everything I do in life sees me observe the level of spirit around and within me.

Yes, we need to relax at times but there is no use in relaxing with a smug smile that you hurt someone, or that you stole from someone to get rich (as exmaples). It is only when we can feel pleased with our deeds, words, actions, thoughts and sentiments; only when we know that they are good and helpful, that we reach higher realms of spirit.

Again, spirituality is a way of life, and we apply it to absolutely everything we do. Relaxing and meditating can be part of that, but our true spirit shows in our worst moments. An example might be; do we blame others in order to be happy, or, will we only be happy when ‘that’ person is punished?

If we wish to stay in the higher realms, we can say, ‘it is not for me to judge what happens to that person – all I know is I do not feel comfortable around them, and so I avoid them or choose to stay away from them.’ You are not here to deliver a judgement verdict on another, you are here to ensure you do as little ‘wrong things’ as possible. Why? because doing bad things makes us ill, whereas doing good things makes us healthy.

It is also how you feel about yourself; in finding sovereignty we can confuse self love with vanity, but we override that by reminding ourselves that we are not better than others, only different.

Also, it helps to have that inner-dailogue where you speak with God or great spirit; the creator, the Universe, Allah – whatever you want to call it – that when we face trouble we can ask the creative force (non-physical) to please help us to stay positive and find the best way through adversity, without creating a karmic circle, whereby we may do something bad to please ourselves, but in doing so we have committed a bad act, and will be judged for that – usually we judge ourselves for it!

If we find ourselves in a defensive position, yes, we may retaliate in the moment, perhaps from anger and such, but it should be justified and, of course, we must forgive ourselves and accept that we could not ‘be nice’ in that situation. The answer is of course to avoid such situations, especially we we can foresee them; don’t walk into the fire – if you are pushed that is one thing, but don’t walk into it willingly!

And so, spirituality is the moment to moment, minute to minute, observance of our own feelings, state of mind, actions and thoughts, in order to ensure that we are always as happy and in line with love as possible. Of course we are human and make mistakes, but we learn from them!

I hope that makes sense. I can elaborate further if needed.

Thank you for sharing this. I like the way you described spirituality as something that shows up in everyday choices and not just in quiet moments like meditation. The idea of paying attention to the “level of spirit” in our thoughts and actions is quite interesting.

I’m curious though — how do you actually stay aware of that in the middle of a busy day? It sounds like something that takes a lot of self-observation. Do you find it becomes natural over time, or do you have certain moments where you pause and check in with yourself?

I’d also be interested to hear more about what you meant by avoiding things that harm the “good spirit.” What kinds of practices or habits help you stay aligned with that in daily life?

Thanks, DeepikaH –

I don’t follow any religion but was around a few growing up – a mish-mash of ideologies. I follow physics more, but am creative in writing, art and music. I turned away from most religions when I saw followers of those religions doing really bad things!

I was alone a lot growing up, and seldom had anyone to speak with so would speak to ‘myself’, but soon learned that is akin to speaking with God, Creation, Great Spirit – it listens even if it can’t reply.

I’ll explain it as simply as possible – using Karma as the best focal point.

Besides having our own ‘karma’, we also find ourselves entangled in the karma of others.

A very generic example is; if I were to drink five glasses of wine and two shots, I’m going to hurl, maybe end up with some strange man, trip on the stairs and hurt myself – all the horrid stuff that comes with being drunk. The lesson is learned quickly – when we are ‘intoxicated’ we don’t have sound judgement, and we hurt ourselves across various levels, including reputation.

After the ‘hurt’, I know to never do that again – the ‘hurt’ was the karma.

That’s a simple explanation.

Now, let’s say I find a new boyfriend but he sells drugs. He is so awesome and sexy and fun, and we’re having a great time, but he gets arressted because the kid he sold drugs to died of an overdose. Now, because I was ‘in the car’ when he sold the drugs to the kid, I am complicit. And that is how associated karma works.

We do bad things in our own life, things we know to be wrong, and get hurt in the end – somehow it doesn’t turn out well when we do bad things. By ‘bad things’ I mean that when you’re about to do something, and you know ‘this is so wrong’ but you do it anyway, something bad will come of it – and you knew it would!

When we involve ourselves with people who do bad things, even if we are innocent, we involve ourselves in ‘said’ bad things by association, and we get hurt again – even if we just sat in the car and did not see anyone – please note my examples are just examples, not personal experiences; I’m using simple scenarios here.

We get to a point where we consider things like mindfulness – ‘is what I’m doing a good thing; is it fair; is it right, and most importantly, will it bring me harm’?

We all love ‘the forbidden’ – sneaking out of your parents’ home to go to a party, drinking, or even kissing your best-friend’s boyfriend – those kinds of things; the fobidden has always appealed to us – because we are curious beings.

But the reason many things were forbidden is because they hurt us. Many religious laws (Islam as an example) are not there to stifle people, but to keep them safe from harm.

Moving beyond the ‘forbidden’, though, let’s look at how we treat ourselves.

A lot of people have a genuine hate for themselves and their conscience! “I wish I did not care that Tom is my best-friend’s boyfriend – I so want him. But maybe he will like me more than her?” and off you go and break your best-freind’s heart, which in turn sees you as backstabber and all the rumors and such that go with it come your way. You could have waited for them to break-up instead.

Our conscience will always try to help us avoid doing bad things – always. It’s that voice that says ‘you know you shouldn’t do this!’

And that is your soul that is in alignment with the best outcome possible for your body. Your soul does not want you to hurt your body, because when your body breaks you can do nothing, right? And negativity makes us angry or upset which affects our immune systems – and so forth.

At this stage (I am now 48), I don’t even question myself so much anymore. I already know things that will hurt and what won’t. No matter how much money, fame or fun comes with doing said ‘wrong thing’, it’s just not worth it because, it’s as though Creation watches me and says, “Sorry, can’t let you get away with that!”

When I get upset with myself, or become negative, I sense the chemistry that comes with doing so; my facial expression is the first sign – it becomes distorted with a frown or snarl – and I know I’m going to be tired or not want to do my work, or I’m going to get in a fight. At that point it is up to me to change that negative thought as soon as I can. It’s not always easy, but we can all do this. And it can begin by simply turning your attention to something in the room – a book – pick it up and read a paragraph, or go outside and see if there are weeds among the flowers. In high-pressure situations, I’ll step back and ask to go to the bathroom, or be honest and say ‘I don’t agree with what’s being said’. I don’t submit to what others want from me. It must be symbiotic or not at all.

Cleanliness is important, so waking up is an important time of day – make sure myself and my home are clean and acceptable before going anywhere. I thank God, Creation, Great Spirit (whatever you want to call it, although I call it ‘God’) every time I eat anything or drink anything – even if only in my mind without saying it out aloud. I don’t involve myself in anything that invites harm or negative consequenses i.e. if friends are having a party but there’ll be coke there, even if I do like some of the people going, I won’t go because I know the vibe will turn aggressive and superficial.

And I spend as much time in nature as I can, with friends and family, because in nature we’re the most grounded.

I am a survivor of pedophelia and physical childhood abuse. I moved in some horrid circles in my teens. I now suffer with an autoimmune illness. I have attempted suicide more than once. In the end, I turn my disposition toward the criminals, whereas in the past I blamed myself. However, I will not harbour hate for them, because hate makes my heart and liver sick. So I choose to have little to nothing to do with them, unless for legal reasons. Don’t harbour hate – it’s very bad for you!

Mindfulness saved me, and it is that same mindfulness that I liken to ‘being close with God’. We soon discover that God is physics – it’s the energy in nature that keeps us alive. If we want to stay alive, we must abide by nature and treat our body and mind with respect and love. And we do that by observing our ‘feelings’ for things, which amounts to observing ‘spirit’ – which is either good or bad; bad = harmful, low, bad – and good = happy, at peace, calm, funny etc.

At the end of the day it boils down to appreciating all I have (even if it’s nothing at times, even the cup of tea I get to drink is something; something another human somewhere does not have). And then to knowing right from wrong – which can be very complicated in this new world, as all things that were once wrong are now right, for political and industry gains. The new norms hurt us – they really do. But as long as we know what hurts, we can avoid it.

Does that all make sense?

Thank you for sharing all of that so openly. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot in life, and I really respect the honesty and reflection in the way you describe your journey. The way you’ve framed mindfulness and being present with your thoughts as a path toward healing is quite powerful and the idea of learning through experience and gradually becoming more aware of what brings peace versus what brings harm really comes through in what you wrote.